Did you see the title? You must have if you've got this far. So. Do you agree? Are you the centre of the universe? Before I start, let me play with your mind a little!
You'll need to stick with me on this. Here goes...
Have you ever considered whether you are the only one who sees and hears things as they are? What proof do you have that the world around you is NOT as you see it?
Maybe when you read the word 'hello' others read the word 'orange'. Or maybe when you look at the grass and see that it's green. But everyone else sees that it's blue.
And you might be thinking 'but they could take a picture of the grass and I can see that it's green'. But you're wrong. Because your brain makes it green. And how do you know they don't see it as purple? And then when they say the word 'purple' your brain hears it as 'green'.
Weird right?! And if this was true, I'm wasting my time writing this, because I have zero idea of what you're seeing. Maybe you're not reading this post but watching a dog take a shit in an ice cream cone...
What does this have to do with you being the centre of the universe?
Simply put it's because everything in the entire universe happens outside of you. EVERYTHING you ever experience happens with you at the centre. So in your view of the world you are at the centre. And to make sense of everything your brain filters things your way. Based on a range of experiences, senses, memories, beliefs and values (among other things) your brain twists everything.
Here's an example. Did you know that your nose is always in view? But your brain filters it out? Notice it now. See what I mean?
But then there's times when your brain isn't helpful at all. And as the centre of your universe it only causes you problems.
Like those times you walk past two strangers in the street and, by coincidence, they're laughing at a video they've just been sent by a friend. But your mind utterly convinces you that they're laughing at you. And it's because of the new outfit you're wearing today. So your brain is convincing you that:
You were right to be worried about wearing that outfit
People laugh at you when you wear things like this
When you do something 'different' to what you usually do, it's not good
This is neither helpful, nor is it true!
So you should accept that everything you see and hear is only from your point of view. And that your brain has filtered all of it! And you should realise that each and every person in the world is the centre of their own universe. So they're going through the same back and forth with their brain!
How is this information useful?
The easy answer is to tell you it's useful in lots of ways and leave you to contemplate what those ways might be!
The better answer is for me to spell out how you can use this information to realise you are:
Probably overthinking lots of things and creating more problems for yourself
Probably not selfish enough
Probably unaware of the way others' minds are twisting things for them too
And when you realise these things it can help you:
Give yourself a break
Build your self confidence
Practice a little more self-love
Experience less conflict
Get the life you want
I'll explain...
Give yourself a break
As you know by now your view of the world is unique. Because you're the centre of your universe and everything else is on the outside. So your brain filters things to help make everything make sense. And in most cases it's trying to keep you safe and avoid physical and psychological harm.
This means your brain can create connections that are a little out-of-sync with reality. Think back to the example I shared earlier about people laughing as you walked past. From your perspective they were laughing at you, so all of the negative emotions that come with that are connected to whatever you were doing at the time.
By understanding that your perspective isn't the only one and reflecting on the truth of the situation you can re-calibrate your experience and realise that actually you felt great in that outfit and everyone you spoke to complimented you. And the same thing happens whenever you do something different.
This means you can stop overthinking these things and just do you!
Build your self confidence
When you realise others are dealing with their own warped view of the world and facing into their own shit you'll also realise they're paying nowhere near as much attention to you as you think they are.
So when you finally get over the fact that even though you're the centre of your own universe, you are not the centre of anyone else's universe. And if you're anywhere near their centre it's because you're a loved one. So they'll be the type of person to big you up, not put you down.
Anyone else? If you're not near the centre of their universe and they're not near the centre of yours then they really don't matter. And neither do their opinions.
You know what this means? You can do what you want and to hell with everything else. It's your life. Live it your way.
Practice a little more self-love
If you're not focusing on you enough, then everything else outside of your centre is going to, eventually, turn to shit. How can you show care for those close to you if you're not looking after yourself? How can you achieve the things you want when every day is chaos? And how can you face into the shit life throws at you when you're not looking after the simple stuff. Like yourself?
So knowing that you are the centre of your universe means realising that looking out for yourself isn't selfish, it's essential!
Experience less conflict
When you accept that each of us is the centre of our own universe and facing our own shit it gives you a different perspective on how and why others are the way they are. And having that perspective can help you respond and handle conflict more positively.
Get the life you want
When you're giving yourself a break now and again, practicing self-care and building your self-confidence to live a life with less conflict you're free to live your life the way you want.
Final note
The simple truth is we're all facing our own shit. And not everything we see, hear or experience will be seen the same way by any two people.
Understanding your place in your universe is key to accepting that self-care is essential, you can do whatever you want and living life your way.
So if you want to learn how to focus on you more, give me a shout:
Email me: andy@alscoaching.com
Book a free call: https://www.alscoaching.com/book-online
Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ALSFreeCoaching
Check out these Self-Help guides: https://www.alscoaching.com/selfhelp
In the meantime remember you're awesome, you're doing great and you can do anything you want to!